Veto Omelette
Aparna P, reporting from the United Nations Security Council (UNSC), authors a culinary satire on the power of veto – where five permanent chefs spoil every broth.
Character Sketch
UNSC
Description of the dish:
A golden, fluffy omelet – crisp hypocrisy exterior concealing a runny, undercooked center of unresolved conflicts. Five swirls lie on the top of the dish, forming perfect veto symbols on the top. The dish is served on a blue and white plate, that suspiciously looks like the UN flag. It is a popular UNSC breakfast special
Ingredients:
- 5 privileged eggs (P5 brand. Price: worthless)
- 1 cup diced sovereignty (finely chopped, uneven distribution)
- ½ cup crispy hypocrisy (pan-fried in Gulf War oil)
- 1 tablespoon “peacekeeping” cheese (imported from Global South)
- A pinch of Chapter VII flakes (for decoration only, not edible)
- 1 slice of stale UN Charter bread (1945 vintage)
Preparation:
- Pour Gulf War oil into the Permanent Member pan and heat it well until it smokes and sizzles.
- Crack P5 eggs into a bowl and blend it with the help of the Neo-Colonial Blender (Françafrique edition).
- Blend on Humanitarian Intervention speed until the yolks form perfect veto symbols.
- Sauté sovereignty on high heat until the borders become unrecognizable.
- Mix in hypocrisy discreetly using a Diplomatic Spatula.
- Cook on high flame (but never enough to actually let it set).
- Sprinkle peacekeeping cheese – just enough to be publicized by the media.
- Garnish with Chapter VII flakes ( will disappear on contact with reality)
Plating:
- Place omelet on UN toast
- Drizzle with Selective Intervention syrup.
